The hot water felt good against Booth’s face and shoulders as he pushed against the tile of the shower. Things had changed direction quickly last night on the walk back from the hospital. Hodgins and Angela had welcomed their son into the world and shared their joy with all their friends. Brennan had been given a chance to sneak off and visit Angela, while Booth congratulated Jack, and then they had left the hospital together.
The walk was not a long one before Bones had begun to question how Angela and Hodgins could be so happy with their world being turned upside down. She had never understood how people could find joy in chaos and he had tried to ease her fears by explaining that having a baby was the result of Angela and Hodgins love and that everything would turn out fine. He thought that Bones was about to defend her stance how this type of event would disrupt their daily lives and work, but that was not what had happened. Instead Bones had surprised him with news of her own; she was pregnant and he was the father.
Standing there in the shower Booth felt as if he had been run over by a bus. He realized he was drained emotionally and his body felt tired for the first time since coming home from Afghanistan. Booth pondered on this as he shut off the tap and reached for a towel to dry off with. It wasn’t a bad tired, but more like the feeling he would get after a long day of training and carrying around a 70 pound pack in the desert heat. The type of feeling that makes you glad for Saturday mornings and sleeping in.
With the hunt for Broadsky over and cases that were more solvable, life had begun to settle back into a normal pattern with one exception – Bones. This made Booth pause in front of the mirror and wipe the steam off of the reflective surface. He quickly wrapped the towel around his waist and went through the routine motions of shaving. With each stroke of the razor he thought of how their partnership had begun and evolved. As he rinsed the razor and wiped the remaining foam from the sides of his face, he asked himself silently, Are you ready for this?
Turning towards the door, Booth stopped just inside the door frame looking out into the bedroom. He caught a glimpse of movement from the bed and a muffled moan. It had been a long night of talking and of love making for the two of them. He folded his arms and watched, taking mental note of each curve and hint of skin that lay exposed from the sheet. She was so knowledgeable and confident at her job of solving gruesome murders and field of science, but when it came to relationships and life outside the lab, Bones was a mess – a beautiful, wonderful mess!
Booth walked quietly over to the dresser and dug out a pair of boxers and then a navy blue t-shirt. He grabbed a pair of jeans from the closet and finished dressing. As he was putting on his shoes, he watched the morning light and how it highlighted the chestnut hair that protected Brennan’s eyes from its beams. He could have sat there for hours reveling in this delightful sight, but he knew that it would not last forever and all too soon Brennan would begin to wake.
Brennan awoke to the sound of humming and could tell Booth was in the kitchen. He was apparently busy making breakfast and something sweet was wafting through the air and tickling at her sense of smell. Brennan felt slightly nauseated and her head pounded as if she had a hangover. She slowly sat up, cautiously putting her feet on the floor; trying not to make much noise. It had been a long and dizzying night of emotional release and physical stimulation. She of course was right their intercourse was extremely physical and they did have great stamina; in essence they were very sexually compatible.
So why was she feeling this sense of displacement and a bit disoriented. She knew the nausea was probably the beginnings of morning sickness as her body adjusted to the hormones, but these other feelings had nothing to do with the pregnancy. She surmised it was her apprehensions about pursuing a life with Booth. How could she love him and yet at the same time be so scared; it was not logical to her. She had to repress her fears regarding relationships and vulnerability and move forward. So, she grabbed a shirt from Booth’s dresser and pair of boxers and made her way to the kitchen.
Booth heard Brennan as she approached the kitchen, the squeaky floor board just to the left the prized bleacher seats had given away her position. He continued on with making his famous French toast. Brennan looked tired; as she hadn’t gotten much sleep either until the wee hours of the morning. He couldn’t help smiling as she looked adorable in his clothes though.
Booth: “Hey there, good morning.”
Brennan: “Hi! How did you sleep?”
Booth: “Not bad, but a hot shower felt really good this morning.”
Brennan winced a bit looking at the food and turned towards the sink.
Booth: “Morning sickness?”
Brennan: “Slightly. It is to be expected I guess, considering I am in my first trimester and it may take my body some adjusting.”
Booth: “Here let me get something that may help.”
Booth rummaged in the cabinet over the fridge and pulled out a box of saltines. He then grabbed a mug and fished a tea bag out of a box that was lying next to the coffee canister.
Booth: “Rebecca got really bad morning sickness when she was pregnant with Parker and swore by saltines and peppermint tea. This should help some…hopefully. I had them around as a hangover remedy.”
Brennan took a bite of one of the saltines: “Thanks! Sometimes I forget you have been through this before.”
Booth watched Brennan as she sat at the café table on one of the high chairs and nibbled away at her cracker and silently sipped her tea. He finished turning the French toast and nodded in thought about what Brennan had just said. It was true he was a dad already, but Rebecca had denied him what he really wanted – a family. He had not been there for the moments he had wanted to be and felt like he had missed out on so much with Parker. It was a moment before he started to say what he felt needed to be said.
Booth: “Temperance, I need to say this and I don’t want you to say anything until I have finished… okay?”
Brennan: “Okay…what is it?”
Booth: “Your right, I have been through this before with Rebecca and Parker, but it wasn’t how I wanted it. Rebecca didn’t want to be married to me, she said ‘No’ remember. As a result she kept me at a distance through the whole pregnancy and with being in the Army, I missed so much. Hell, I almost missed Parker’s birth -had I not gone AWOL. I want to marry you and you know how I feel about this. I also know how you feel about marriage… but I would give up the idea of marriage…”
Booth paused for a moment: “if it meant that I could have all those moments I missed out on with Parker, if I could have them with you. I want to be there when you go to the doctor and they do the ultrasound, I want to be there every month and step of the way. I want to be there for my child’s birth and to hold him or her. I want to be able to take my child home from the hospital and celebrate with friends the way Angela and Jack did. More than anything, I want to be there in the middle of the night when you roll over and say ‘it’s your turn’ and rock with my child until morning. I want all of that and I’m asking for that opportunity Temperance. Please don’t sideline me because you think I have been through this before.”
Brennan felt the dryness of her mouth and as if the saltine she had been eating was stuck in her throat. She took a quick sip of tea and looked at the floor.
Brennan quickly interceded: “…Okay Booth!”
Booth paused mid thought. She had agreed and he didn’t need to prepare a defense.
Brennan slid down off the chair and walked up to him, looking Booth straight in the eyes: “I won’t sideline you for this. I need all the help I can get! I have one concern and that is how will the FBI handle this development? I think this will be a little hard to hide from everyone in a couple of months.”
Booth sighed: “Yeah, this one is going to be a tough one to explain isn’t it!”
Brennan slid her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest: “Sweets is going to have a ball day with this!”
Booth chuckled hard: “You mean field day!”